Sunday, January 31, 2016

5. unemployment


by nick nelson

illustrated by palomine studios

for previous episode, click here


to begin at the beginning, click here





at first rob was not too concerned about being fired from his job at the stop here.

he was not sure about his eligibility for unemployment under state law.

he decided he would look into it in a couple of days.

first he wanted to enjoy his new freedom. he had not had a real vacation since high school.

rob wanted to use his new found time to do a little research into being a vigilante and tracking down serial killers, satanists, and other evildoers.


he also took a couple of books out of the library entitled “how to write a thriller” and “how to write a romance novel”. he thought he might earn some money writing one or the other, he had not decided which. he had never actually read a romance novel. he had read some of ruth’s thrillers but his own preferred reading was true crime books.

all this sounded good inside rob’s own brain, but ruth was having none of it.

she wanted rob to show a little more gumption and proactiveness.

ruth’s first idea was for rob to call mrs peters back and beg for his job back, blame hutch for everything - say that hutch had put the porno in rob’s car and rob didn’t know anything about it, - and swear that he,rob, would never look at such stuff and that he was as disgusted as she was ,etc.


rob was lying on the couch reading a book by ann rule. he pretended to consider ruth’s suggestion.

“if i was going to do that i would have called her right away.”

“tell her you were too confused and bewildered to call. tell her anything. it can’t hurt to call.”

“um - maybe she will tell the police i am harassing her.” good one, rob thought to himself.

“shit, i didn’t think of that.” ruth hesitated. “then you should start right away applying for unemployment.”


“i’ll look into it.” rob stuck his face in his book.

“i already have looked into it,” ruth told him. “you were employed long enough, and you made enough. and it wasn’t your fault you were let go.”

“it wasn’t ?” rob looked up. “they will probably will say it was.”

“it wasn’t your fault, it was your asshole friend’s fault! besides, you didn’t break any law. you didn’t even get arrested.”

“i’ll look into it. i don’t feel like it right now.”


“do it now! after i go to work. which reminds me, i got to get going.” ruth took her bag off the table . “and remember, it was all dickhead’s fault. oh, and don’t forget, i don’t want him coming over here any more. his vibes fuck the whole place up.”

hutch had come over a couple of times since rob was fired, apologizing profusely, almost crying. rob had ended up consoling him more than he consoled rob.

“he’s all right, “ rob said. “he was trying to apologize.”

“no, he is not all right! he’s a fucking creep! he’s probably a child molester!”


“you think everybody is a child molester.”

“well, they are! don’t you watch television? we’ll discuss this later, i got to run.”

“he’s just lonely.”

“lonely! that’s just another word for child molester! if he's so lonely why didn't he try to get a girl friend instead of watching that crap!"

"he told me. he fantasizes that the actors in the movies are his friends."

"in porn movies? why doesn't he watch real movies or tv shows, and fantasize about jennifer lawrence or taylor swift or kim kardashian like a normal healthy human being?"


"he told me that too. because he doesn't have to share them with so many people."

"bullshit. he's just a pervert. perverts have all the answers. like liberals. and don’t let him in here if he comes over, i mean it.”

“what am i going to do,” rob mumbled, “put a shotgun in his face? we don’t have a shotgun. ”

but ruth was out the door and gone.

rob sighed and let his book drop to the floor. he decided to at least look at the unemployment website, just so he could tell ruth he did.


and then he would do some more scouting for a likely candidate to start his career as a vigilante on.

he still had not decided whether to tell his plans to hutch and invite him in on them.

rob lay on the couch for a few more minutes.

the doorbell rang.

he figured it was hutch, who had probably been lurking outside waiting for ruth to leave.


6. larry



Monday, January 11, 2016

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Saturday, January 2, 2016

2. hutch


by nick nelson

illustrated by palomine studios


to begin at the beginning, click here





rob made another friend.

hutch was about thirty years old and was a night watchman at a farming implements warehouse a couple of miles down highway 80 past the stop-here.

his shift was from nine at night until five in the morning, and almost every night when he got off he would drop into the stop-here to shoot the shit with rob. and sometimes even buy something - usually a can of red bull or a large cup of black coffee. or a pack of beef jerky.

hutch had a heavily scarred face that was covered by a black beard almost up to his eyes. this and his crooked teeth made him look - and to be told by many of his fellow humans that he looked - like a werewolf.

he drove one of the last original volkswagen bugs on the road, which he had inherited from his stepmother, and was kind of sensitive about it.

“i ain’t no fucking hippie,” he assured anyone who became aware of his vehicle. “look, it’s painted an ordinary blue. and you don’t see no fucking peace signs or flowers or peace symbols on it, do you?”

a lot of people did not even know what he was talking about, and just nodded.

at five in the morning the stop-here was usually deserted, and hutch and rob would have long conversations with hutch doing most of the talking.

unlike rob, who had almost no interest in the subject, hutch’s main subject of conversation was sex - actually porno.

he could talk at length about different porn stars, different “eras” of porn, different directors and their different styles, and “the state of the industry” - straight and gay, even though “i ain’t no faggot. i’m totally against it.”

hutch had another obsession - feminists. he had never actually known any feminists, and would have been as astonished to actually meet one as he would have been to meet a zombie or a martian.

his knowledge of feminism was derived from the newspapers and television - especially fox news. and what he knew disturbed him profoundly and inspired passionate denunciations, which sometimes disconcerted customers who walked into the stop-here.

if rob could get a word in, he usually talked about the true crime books he read, or about murders and shootings prominent in the news.

rob was tempted to describe his fantasies of becoming a vigilante and tracking down killers, but something about hutch held him back.

rob’s dreams had advanced to the point where he mused on recruiting a “crew” of like-minded individuals to track down killers who had escaped justice. but… hutch just did not seem right.

and hutch might even laugh at him.

at six o’clock customers usually started coming in. six to seven was by far the busiest time of rob’s shift, and he very often stayed beyond seven, because his relief had not shown up, or sometimes he would stay a little late to help out if it got really busy.

he hoped mrs peters knew about that and appreciated it.

when rob was busy, hutch would usually hang around and wait for rob and they would go out to the parking lot together.

hutch would keep talking beside their cars, until rob could finally get away. rob would cringe when someone else waked by when hutch was talking in his loud voice about some really colossal dick or really hairy pussy he had seen the other night.

a crisis occurred. rob was ringing up the sale of a six-pack of diet coke one morning when he saw hutch slip a pack of mallo-cups into his pocket.

rob was too shocked to say anything, even later in the parking lot, but he confronted hutch the next night as soon as they were alone, and told him as emphatically as he could that such behavior was totally unacceptable.

hutch made no attempt to defend himself, but was profusely apologetic. he dd not actually shed tears, but came close. he swore “on his mother’s grave” - rob vaguely remembered hutch saying he never knew his mother or knew if she were dead or alive - and promised, absolutely fucking promised, my brother, that it would never happen again.

after this rob and hutch actually got a little closer, and rob considered telling hutch about his dream.

hutch suggested that they trade things - some of hutch’s dvds for rob’s true crime books or documentary dvds.

rob was not enthusiastic but went along with the suggestion to be friendly. he also thought giving hutch the true crime material might make him more interested in it. to the point that he might even become a useful confederate.

rob did not want to watch the porno, or even take it home where ruth might see it.

hutch’s dvds began piling up in the trunk of rob’s car.

this led to another crisis.



3. lucas